| Current location: | couch |
| Current mood: |  crushed |
| Current music: | south park in the background |
i finally figured "it" out...
..."it" being what this stupid blog is for. it's gonna be my filter.
tonight, J rolled his eyes and sighed as i began to tell him a story from my day. a story directly linked to the back injury i was experiencing pain from in that moment. i stopped instantly, realizing that, once again, my constant chatter had resulted in a very disinterested audience. i let him watch his seinfeld episode for, like, the 50 millionth time, and when he asked about my story at commercial, instead of telling the story i had originally begun, i told him about my morning.
my morning was not great. i could tell you why it started out pretty bad, but i'll spare you and fast-forward to what i told J. i told him about our food and bev manager. i told him that we had started an inane conversation (actually, he imitated me sighing in a friendly way that invited conversation) and that when i responded to what he had said, L asked me to alert him when i was addressing him directly, so he would know when to pay attention.
it hurt. it really hurt and i just wanted to put my head on my desk and cry. all of my life people have told me that i talk too much. even my mom, when i was small enough to be out of school, but old enough to remember, told me that if i talked as much as i did people wouldn't like me. my ex-husband used to tell J that he would just let me talk and ignore me. my former boss used to say i was like a little song in the background all of the time. my assistant once angrily asked me if i had a filter. some dickhead at work said he didn't like me cos i talk too much. well, guess what, blog? you get to be my filter. cos i am sick of feeling stupid.
i'm off to brine a turkey. and be really, really quiet. really. cos i have my blog.
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bemytomato) wrote,
